10 Realizations a Woman Has When She’s Thirty, Single, and Dating

1. Well, there’s the obvious…you’re thirty…and single…and dating…again.  Time to party!
2. You’re way more AWESOME than you were when you were twenty and single. 
3. You’re taste in men has evolved and your standards are higher.  Example, the guys you date now have jobs, can hold onto them, and have ambition (imagine that).
4. You have REAL deal breakers.  For example, if he doesn’t celebrate Christmas, don’t bother with a second date because if you’re like me, your Christmas tree is still up.  Yes, I’m aware that it’s August.
5. All of your senses have heightened.  The proof? You suddenly can smell bull shit from a mile away.
6. You run at yellow flags.  You don’t even wait for the red ones anymore.
7. Looking to meet someone who makes you laugh and actually wants the same things you do in life, is more important than chiseled abs and a man bun.
8. You cannot get a cat, no matter how bad you want one, because then you will be “the crazy cat lady”.
9. Your confidence level is the size of Mount Everest.  Everything you’ve been through to get you to this point is basically like climbing that damn mountain.  Right now, you’re doing a celebration dance at the top!
10. The most important realization is that you deserve the absolute best!  Relationships in the past are never failures, they are stepping stones to get you closer to the man who will make you laugh, tell you you’re beautiful on the daily, and love you without conditions.

As always, happy dating! ;-)

Cal Coast Fitness: My Journey

I hate to dissapoint, but this post isn't going to be about dating or a girls night out.  I'm going to get personal.  It's a little lengthly, but if your looking for some inspiration, I think you'll be happy you took the time to read it.  Enjoy. :-)

A year ago in December I attended a fundraiser for the non-profit, ReCreation, a residential camp program for adults and children who have developmental disabilities.  My brother got involved by volunteering while he was in high school and became so passionate about it, that he still does it to this day.  Since his high school days, he’s successfully recruited my entire family to volunteer and Camp ReCreation is now a part of what makes "The Smarts".  The fundraiser, hosted by the incredible team of Interwined, who also happen to be the Camp Directors, offered a variety of raffle prizes.  As a makeup artist, I dumped all of my tickets into the MAC Cosmetics Gift Set (duh).  Well, all except for one.  Next to the makeup raffle basket, there was a fitness package that included a hat, some other fitness items, and a gift certificate for a personal training session with Cal Coast Fitness.  Mind you, this was December.  I had already created my extra layer of warmth for the winter season that evened out to about 7 extra pounds on my body.  Not dropping in at least one ticket would confirm that I'd given up.  So, I reluctantly tossed in my last ticket, aware that I’m one of the most un-lucky people on the face of the earth.  For me, the odds of winning anything, ever, is the equivalent of me marrying Ryan Gosling. 

I left the fundraiser early and my parents were kind enough to hold my tickets in case I won the MAC Cosmetics Gift Set.  The next morning I got a text message from my mother claiming I’d won!  Yes!  More makeup for my wedding kit!  But alas, I was sorely mistaken and the impossible happened.  I won the fitness package.  Seriously?!  I admit I wasn’t thrilled but figured it had to have been a sign if I won with a single ticket, seeing as I’m un-lucky and all.  A few months later, I called Jade, the trainer of Cal Coast Fitness, and scheduled my first session.  Little did I know, as corny as this sounds, it would change my life.

The First Workout:

Half asleep at 5:30 in the morning, I found myself in the gym at my complex with Jade.  She was beautiful, obviously in incredible shape, and ready to put me to work.  At that point, I probably hadn’t worked out in about six months.  I’ve always had this assumption that no matter how long it had been since my last workout, I could handle anything because I’m an athlete.  After all, I had been one my whole life.  This of course, is a ridiculous mentality.  Ten minutes into my workout, I threw up.  Not because Jade was killing me, but because I was so out of shape, that my body decided to send me a serious message.   I had let myself get to a point where I wasn’t exercising or eating right.  I wasn’t in a good place physically, mentally, or emotionally.  Even though I took what felt like a million breaks, Jade was encouraging during the whole session.  She was engaged, asked me questions about my history as an athlete, and pushed me.  After that session, I knew that I needed to make a change and the first step was to consistently work out with Jade and Cal Coast Fitness.

A Year Later:

In one year, my life has changed.  My mentality has changed, my emotional stability, and of course, my physical appearance.  I’m not going to testify that Jade is solely responsible, but she has played a large part in those changes.  Lots of people have personal trainers, but Jade and Cal Coast Fitness is entirely different.  Let me break it down.  Jade is not a fitness trainer.  Well she is, but she’s more than that.  She’s a coach, mentor, and friend.   She’s provided me with support and encouragement, not only in my physical goals, but my personal ones too.  I remember talking with her after a workout about my makeup business.  At the time I wasn’t putting very much effort into it.  She told me about the importance of branding myself and my company and gave me valuable advice.  I’m happy to say now that since that conversation, I’ve re-launched my new website and created a company brand, Smart Makeup.  I’m going to toot my own horn here and tell you that it’s pretty awesome.

Besides supporting my professional and entrepreneurial goals, Jade has inspired me to challenge myself in ways I never thought I would, like running.  To say running was not my thing is an understatement.  It was the death of me.  Even as a little girl I remember running 5K races with my Dad and absolutely hating every minute of it!  I would cry the whole race, except when I got to the end.  They’d always snap a photo at the finish line and even at seven, I knew that no one wants a photo of themselves crying while running.  That’s just sad.  After working out with Jade, who’s an incredible runner, I began to feel inspired to challenge myself.  A few months later I ran a 5k.  The best part about it was that I didn’t run it by myself.  I was joined by other Cal Coast Fitness members.  Jade had Cal Coast Fitness t-shirts made to show our unity and support for each other as well as represent Cal Coast.  Not only did I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when finished, but I felt like I was part of team again, something that I hadn’t felt in a long time, and I loved it.  I completed my first 10K on Thanksgiving and I’ll finish my first half marathon in May.  I also plan to do a sprint triathlon in June.

My physical goal when I began working out with Jade was the same goal I’d been trying to achieve since I was in junior high; to lose weight.  I don’t know if I physically needed to lose weight at that point, but mentally and emotionally, my confidence was begging me to.  Over time, my goal changed.  I wanted to be healthy, strong, and happy.  I can’t tell you the amount of weight I’ve lost in a year, but I can tell you what I’ve gained.  Confidence, self-esteem, toned legs and arms, a smaller waist, a love for hitting a punching bag, a couple of race medals, some awesome Cal Coast Fitness t-shirts, a mentor, and a friend.  I haven’t stepped on a scale in a year and I don’t plan to anytime soon.  I don’t need a number to tell me how to feel.  I can look at a photo and see it in my sexy face, legs, and arms.  And yes, you read that correctly.

Cal Coast Fitness has made me successful on multiple levels.  Jade has positively impacted my life in more ways than she’s probably aware of.  I can’t thank her enough.  It was a team effort, though.  It took my own dedication, determination, and will to keep going.  My future is bright.  Yours can be too.  If you want to make an incredible change in your life, do it, but know that you don’t have to do it alone.

To Jade and Cal Coast Fitness, thank you.

Happy "Made up Holiday But I Still Love it" Day

Ok, so it's been well, a long time since I've blogged.  I'm sure you all thought I fell off the face of the earth.  I'm still here, guys!!!  I thought today would be the perfect day to make my comeback, even though currently I am not so single, I can't pass up the perfect opportunity to make you laugh, giggle, smile, smirk, or grunt (depending on your sense of humor).

So, Happy Valentine's Day from yours truly and you're welcome ahead of time. :-)

 Classic.  This one deserves at least one laugh out loud.

 Ok, too cute.  Now, let's get real...

Ha!

For the complicated relationships.

Ryan always puts things in perspective.  Thank you!

He's also very clever with his words (sigh). :-)

He's just stating the facts.

Seriously, I love this cat.

The cold, hard truth.

Ok, so this was the fasted blog ever.  I'll be back soon, don't you worry!  Happy Valentine's Day!  Hug the ones you care for and even the ones you don't, because even though today is a made up holiday, everyone deserves a little love!

Happy dating everyone!

The Checklist vs The Shredder

Well it only took me 28 years to figure this out.  Everyone, at some point or another, has created a checklist of qualities they want in their potential partner.  It’s human nature to yearn for perfection.  The problem is, no one is perfect, well, except for Ryan Gosling. So if your checklist is a million miles long, newsflash, you’re going to be single forever.  Not just forever. I’m talking about The Sandlot type of foooorrr-eeeeevvvvv-eeerrrrr.  If there are certain qualities in another person that you know you can’t live without, by all means, hold out for what you want.  But if your checklist is the same length at the book Yongle Dadian, which has total of 11,095 volumes and 22,877 chapters, it’s time to throw the checklist away or risk dying alone.  Besides, a checklist that long is utterly ridiculous.  Mine was more reasonable.  I thought an even 20,000 chapters would suffice.

Here’s the point of this post.  I’ve learned an interesting lesson; again, it only took me 28 years.  A few of months ago I went on a handful dates with a couple of gentleman who had almost all of the qualities on my “checklist”.  Both guys were tall, handsome, smart, had jobs, and knew what they wanted out of life.  I shared a few things in common with both suitors and figured one of these guys had to be the end all be all.  After a few dates with each guy, I began to realize that even with my checklist almost full-filled, combined with shared interests, I found myself bored.  Completely bored.  Gone with the Wind bored.  I was so confused!  All of my dating experience and creating a fool proof checklist of the perfect boyfriend was all for what?  Nothing.  That’s right folks, nothing.  Well, not totally nothing, there was wine and cheese involved which is always worth something!

There’s so much pressure to date the person that fits the perfect picture of your future life.  Maybe that’s just pressure that I put on myself, though.  Friends have told me throughout the years to let go of what I think I need and to just let whatever happens, happen.  For the longest time I thought I knew better.  I was looking for the epitome of true gentleman.  What girl wouldn’t want that?  It wasn’t until I actually went out with the living, breathing, reality of my checklist that I realized how boring my life would be if I actually got what I wanted.  So, I’m off to buy a shredder.  Time to take my 20,000 chapters, make some confetti, and have a party, wine and cheese included.

The World's Most Elegible Bachelors...At Least on Tinder

So the main reason why I decided to start this blog is because I enjoy writing. That's correct. I said writing, not dating, which is supposed to be what this whole blog is about. Anyway, in my last post I introduced you all to the world of Tinder. It's kind of like speed dating, but online. It's also a great way to kill your battery. I learned that the hard way. Last week I had to cut myself off when I realized I was at 20% by 11 am. 

As I scrolled through the vast array of potential suitors, I began to notice a trend. I don't consider myself to be a judgmental person, but after a while I began to feel bad at the amount of "NOPE"s I was choosing. Am I really that shallow? Am I not giving these men a fair shot? I took a good, hard look in the mirror and realized I'm not the one to blame. This whole app was created on the notion that people usually judge a book by it's cover. As much as we might hate to admit it, we do it. So, if that's the case, why not put your best cover forward? A profile on Tinder only holds five photos. Most people would want to choose the best five photos they have of themselves. I repeat, most people. Below I give you the reasons why I don't feel bad about saying NOPE. (Note, I managed to pick ones where there were no common friends.  It was harder than you might think. If you see someone you know, please instruct them to change their profile picture, immediately.)

This guy.  I mean, how hot is a guy with a snake around his shoulders?  Cullen, if we put you in a green bikini top I think you'd pass for Britney Spears at the 2001 MTV VMA's.  And the facial expression?  Classic.  

I will be the first one to admit that I am a huge fan of Disneyland.  Even when I'm 80, Disneyland will forever remain the Happiest Place on Earth that's within 35 miles of my house.  It will also remain the most expensive place on earth.  At one point however, I put my autograph book down and retired my Ariel pen.  A Gangster pose with Goofy is not going to get me to like you.  I'm sorry.

Oh my gosh!  I loved my Prom picture too!  So much so that it's in a frame, at my parents house, somewhere in a box, most likely in the garage, collecting dust.  As much as I treasured that picture, try to remember that it's best to be as current as possible in your photos. 

At first glance, Jacob looked sweet, possibly adventurous with his purple shirt and mountain climby backpack.  But then I noticed his friend, the goat.  Or possibly lama.  Not sure which one it is, but as much as I love animals, maybe the goat picture is something you can whip out at a family function, not on Tinder.

Meet Miroki, my new boyfriend.  He's an astronaut.  Don't believe me?  Look at his photo!  He's in a space shuttle with an astronaut helmet on.  Seriously, he wouldn't lie.  He's a mature 32 year old man!

This photo was just like any old selfie.  As soon as I checked his age, I noticed the other thing in the photo.  The cat.  I almost wanted to like the photo just for the cat, but then I remembered I wasn't on Facebook.  Moving on.

Ah yes, so dapper and sophisticated.  I cannot resist the old timey sunglasses!  But sir, I mustache you a question...WHY???

This is one of many, many, many, many, many, many (did I say many?) photos of a mans chest.  Mind you there were only two photos on this profile and neither one included his head.  Kudos to your hard work Mr. Muscles, but I need a picture of your face.

 All I can think about when I see this photo is Gotham City, missing their hero.  Batman, return to your city!  They need you!  Also, please do not attempt to jump off any buildings.  The only information I have to give to medical personnel is your first name, age, and approximate wing span.

Andy, Andy, Andy.  I mean what can I say?  I don't think anyone is as good looking as you.  You take the cake on this one, hot stuff.

Damn, you look good for 67, but no.

Ok, seriously, what is with all the lies?!  I know you're not 26!  Cristian, I recommend that you get off Tinder, do your math homework, and go back to fifth grade.

This just in, Ron Burgundy is on Tinder.  Ladies, line up!

Oh yes, pyromania is the quality I'm most looking for in a man and future husband.  It shows his passion and desire.  It also shows that he's crazy and that I should run away, or in this case, click the red X button.

I love a man who can shove things up his nose.  I mean, come on, have you ever heard of America's Got Talent?  Kurtis, my new boyfriend, is going to be on the show, win, and turn us into reality star celebrities. 

Ryan isn't so bad, but I feel like his dog is coming onto me (notice the wink).  You're so cute little buddy, but you're moving a little to fast for me and I'm going to have to put you down, I mean, let you down, and say no.

So your saying your head is cold and your body is hot?  Ohhhhhh, I get it, your body is hot.  Yeahhhhh, no.

With all the gun control issues going on in this country, are you sure that posting a photo of yourself, with guns, is a good idea?  I'm all for the Second Amendment, but you've got to put that on lock-down, buddy.  That's not sexy, it's scary.

Opinion: Sometimes dogs look like their owners.  Would you agree?

There's nothing sexier than a guy at the dentist, specifically in the chair.  I wish you'd smile for me Spencer, but I'll let it slide since you probably can't feel your face at the moment.

Just another day in my bathroom, taking a selfie, with my shirt off. 

Tattoos can be attractive, when they're done right.  I don't think Brandon likes to take his own advice.  Let's hope next time he makes better choices.

Joseph, you look good for 65 and I'm impressed by your courage to take a selfie flying over the ocean.  Unless that's a green screen, in which I'm appalled by your lack of creativity.  Come on, you can come up with something better than para-sailing.

Not one, not two, but three!!! Three dudes without shirts!  Ladies, you can thank me later.  I will say I am somewhat impressed with the oldie in the middle.  He's probably what, like, 56?  How can I like him?

In case you couldn't tell, Stephen is a model and this is his head shot.

At first, I thought this was a woman.  But then I realized it was a man who possibly had longer hair.  No, wait, that's not hair, that's a monkey.  No.

  

Nothing melts a woman's heart like seeing a man hold a baby.  Totally the same thing, right?!

   

Lastly, this guy just looks like a cross between Nicolas Cage and Ryan Gosling.  Who knew that would be sexy, right?!?!  Crazy and creepy!

Well, that's all folks.  I hope none of you think less of me.  I really don't like to make fun of people, but these photos were just too amazing.  Besides, it's all in good fun. 

As always, happy dating. :-)

My Tinder Heart

Well, the app gods gave single people everywhere an early Christmas gift.  Say goodbye to monthly subscriptions, emailing, winking, and coming up catchy headliners.  Welcome to the world of Tinder.  It’s the most ingenious and addicting app since Angry Birds.  If you’re single, no matter what you’re looking for, this app is a must-have!  A special thanks goes out to my girl Whit who suggested I use Tinder for fun. It now has turned into the best thing ever! 

How it works:

Logging in with your Facebook, Tinder takes friends and likes in common that you have with potential suitors in your area.  A profile picture appears and you make a simple choice: like or dislike.  I’m telling you, it’s ingenious!  If you like a photo, and that suitor also likes your photo, a love connection is made and an instant message chat begins!  From there, it’s up to you!  There’s no profile, match settings, or personality test.  It’s like online speed dating.  An even better analogy, it’s like Match.com on crack.  In fact, it's #matchoncrack!

Here's a little advice for ladies who choose to accept the challenge: If you don’t have friends or likes in common and each of the guys five photos looks like they stepped out of Magic Mike, they are not a real guy.  Or, if they are a real guy, then they are a really, really, really old guy somewhere being creepy.  I'm assuming it goes both ways, so dudes, beware!  My suggestion: do not like their photo!  No matter how much they resemble Ryan Gosling or Adriana Lima, move on.  Trust me, there's plenty to choose from.

Another piece of advice: anyone who asks for more pictures, specifically of body parts, block.  Block and keep going.  One problem with the app is the lack of preference settings.  An age preference would be fantastic but unfortunately isn't available.  Since preferences are minimal, you'll come across a lot of male suitors whose profile picture is with a scantily clad female or a cat.  Weird I know, but I swear I’ve come across at least eight guys who are holding a cat in their pictures.  It actually has become quite amusing.  It also made me think about getting a cat.  Oops, tangent.  Sorry, now back to the program.  I also recommend avoiding anyone who says they're over 100 but obviously look 25.  That’s just dumb and proves the limit of their creativity.

I've noticed some other potential issues.  For example, keeping track of all the information for each individual!  Seriously, I don’t know how guys do it!  Dating multiple people at once takes a lot of skill, dedication, and memorization.  I’m fairly sure that’s why monogamy was created.  We human beings can only handle so much information before we start getting confused!  I’m thinking about adding a note in my iPhone and listing the general details for each potential suitor.  Either that or flash cards.  I haven’t decided yet. 

Overall the app is great and I recommend it to singletons everywhere!  It’s a great way to meet new people without the hustle and bustle of online dating.  I’ve had more dates in a week and a half than I’ve had in a year!  I was even able to reconnect and see an old friend from elementary school!  You know who you are!  So, if you need a date, an ego boost, or a laugh, let Tinder start your dating fire.

As always, happy dating everyone. :-)