To Text or Not To Text: That is a Question?

“I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.”  I think Drew Barrymore had it right.  It is exhausting.  I already discussed my opinion of online dating, but I forgot to mention how texting has also dramatically changed the dating world.

When I was a sophomore in high school, my parents gave me a Nokia cell phone.  I was told that the purpose of this phone was to do two things: call when you are on your way home from school or call 911 (aka Dad) if something happens to you.  The rules were simple and I didn’t think twice about it.  A cell phone was for emergencies.  I don’t know what happened between the year 2000 and now, but I am at the point where I feel completely exposed without my phone.

Besides the human race becoming completely dependent on cell phones, who now, thanks to Siri, literally talk to us and answer our questions, electronic and mobile devices have changed the dating world and turned it upside down.

Drew stated that we need to check multiple portals of communication in order to actually connect with someone.  It’s true!  One of these portals being texting has completely taken over voice on voice action! 

The Texter:  This is a type of guy who will refuse to actually talk into the phone.  Texting has become his only mode of communication when connecting with the opposite sex.  If you dare call “The Texter”, he will not answer and most likely never text you again.  You have scared him off by being too forward and expecting an actual conversation. 

Because texting has brainwashed us to think that it’s an acceptable form of communication, talking on the phone has now become uncommon and almost uncomfortable.  It’s now considered a step of the dating process.  I had a friend who was shocked the other day when a man said that he preferred to talk on the phone!  We were both stunned and then realized how sad it was that we were surprised.

Here is another problem with texting.  If anyone owns an iPhone and you have recently updated it to the newest operating system, you now have iMessaging.  The people at Apple were not thinking clearly when they created this feature.  Sure, it’s great when it’s your family or friends, but as soon as you text the guy you met the night before, you have to stare at your phone until you see those little grey dots so you’ll know if he is texting you back or not.  Here is the worst case scenario.  You see the dots and start daydreaming about your date, then they disappear and you end up with no response.

 

The other scenario is you are dating someone and you have received a picture text message of a rose.  Note to men everywhere, we are not wooed by a picture of something that you can physically buy but choose not to.  We do not think it’s romantic.  It’s actually an insult.  It says, “Hi hunny, I saw this and took a picture of it but decided I wouldn’t buy it for you because I’m lazy.”  Now, ladies, we are just as guilty when it comes to texting, calling, and so on.  I think the best advice for those who are dating is to be old-fashioned.  Talk on the phone, buy real flowers, and if you’re on a date, pretend your phone does not exist.

The New Year's Kiss

Besides Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve is the most anticipated day in any single girl’s life.  We prepare for New Years Eve by working out in the weeks prior, getting our nails done, and finding a fabulous party to attend.  If we can’t find a party, we throw one where we make sure all of our couple friends bring cute, tall, single gentlemen, who would like nothing more than to find their soul mate.  That’s reasonable, right?   Another reason why we love New Year’s Eve is because it gives us an excuse to shop for an obnoxious dress that is entirely covered in glitter and sparkle.  The best part about that is no one can tell us we look like a 5 year old when we are wearing it.

Once we arrive at our party destination, we drink champagne, laugh with friends, and take a disgusting amount of pictures.  All the while, we are secretly eyeing the room of available bachelors to pounce on for that inevitable New Year’s kiss.  My question is who made up this ridiculous rule of “the New Year’s kiss”?  I just want to enjoy the last night of the year and reminisce on its challenges and successes!  Instead, I’m forced to worry about who I’ll be locking lips with at midnight. 

I did a little research on how this horrible tradition was started.  Apparently, the Ancient Romans, English, and Germans are to blame.  Around the time of the Winter Solstice, the Romans would celebrate Saturnalia, which was basically a week long party to raise morale after the Romans lost a battle to the Carthaginians.  I’m not totally sure what kissing and brutal battles have to do with each other, but those Romans didn’t always have a method to their madness.  For example, making perfectly good-looking, available men fight to the death for sport was a complete waste.  Not only were the Romans confused as to what the definition of entertainment was, but they were minimizing the already small pool of future husbands. 

The rest of my research explained that at the end of the year, a kiss is seen as a measure of what is to come in the next twelve months.  In some old English and German legends, the first person you came in contact with at midnight would be your “New Year’s kiss”.  A kiss with one you loved ensured good tidings and happiness, but to kiss someone less favorable, or not kiss anyone at all, would mean misfortune and loneliness in the upcoming year.  Seriously?  How about instead of loneliness and misfortune, single people get more vacation days at work or a pre-paid trip to Tahiti? 

In conclusion, my research has told me this: once the clock starts counting down, make sure you are standing next to the 6’ 5” guy who looks like he could be Ryan Goslings brother.  If you don’t make it in time and the clock strikes twelve, know that kiss or no kiss, you will always have good fortune and happiness as long as you cherish these three things: faith, family, and friends. 

Online Dating

The world of online dating is now the most common way to date.  But wasn’t it our parents who met by “chance”?  Their relationships have lasted without compatibility quizzes and personality profiles.  Shouldn’t we be able to find that certain someone the “old-fashioned” way?  I stayed in one Friday night, and yes, “Say Yes To the Dress” was on in the background, with my debit card in hand wondering if I should click on that little green continue button.  Is it worth fifty bucks a month to take some quizzes and be matched up by, God knows who?  Well, I did click that button and there’s been no luck so far.  I keep thinking though, it wasn’t too long ago that our parents met through work, friends, church, school, and other social events.  Whatever happened to courting, chivalry, and what we now call, good “old-fashioned” dating?  Now it’s been replaced with winking, poking, smiling, and icebreaking.  There is just something to that unpredictable, awkward, exhausting, exciting, dating that online sites just can’t compete with.  Have you ever seen a drop dead gorgeous man at a bar and just thought, I am going to go up to that guy and ask him out.  You don’t have send an icebreaker or wait for an e-mail response to a question you sent 3 days ago.  You just went up to that good-looking man and said, “Hey, let me buy you a drink because you’re attractive, I’m attractive, and I think we should hang out”.  Granted, those guys never panned out and probably for a good reason.

One issue that I can’t get past with online dating is that you can basically order off a menu of men.  How tall would you like your potential partner to be?  What color hair would you like?  What level of education would you prefer?  Of course these are things that matter in some way or another, but actually clicking buttons to order up your man just seems, well, too good to be true.  That is just my opinion.  Now, I have plenty of friends who have met their boyfriends, fiance's, and husbands on different online dating sites and I don’t think they could have found a more perfect person, but is that the online dating site, or is it something that is beyond the Internet?  I think that if there is a person out there for everyone, it really doesn’t matter how you meet them, as long as you make each other happy.  I’ll end with a message to my Mr. Right: if you are out there, I think I’m ready.  Just let me get a few more Vegas trips in with my girlfriends before you find me!