A Smart Single Girl in Orange County

Hello!  Welcome to my blog!  Growing up in Orange County has been a blessing, but any girl from the ages of 21 to 35, probably has a dating life that is cut throat and similar to that movie 300.  Well, except for all of the good looking men in loin cloths.  Anyway, this blog is not meant to man-bash or complain.  I hope to use it as a tool to reach out to single girls (and maybe guys) to share some thoughts and advice.  I hope that you find it informational, helpful, and entertaining!  So, enjoy reading about the life of a smart single girl in Orange County!

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Not to Dinner

I was reading a book called The Rules over the weekend and in one of the chapters the author was discussing how men should pick a lady up for a date, plan it, and pay for it.  It seems simple enough.  But dating seems so predictable lately.  Coffee, drinks, dinner or a movie.  Sounds exciting right?  Reflecting on my past dates in the last blog gave me another idea; if dating is supposed to be fun then single people everywhere should put an end to the monotony and get spicy!

Let’s be honest, dinner dates can be pricey and awkward.  It’s stressful for ladies to figure out what to order.  We can’t order a steak because then we look rude.  Even though we want to order a salad in the hopes of fitting into our favorite skinny jeans again sometime in the next decade, we don’t because then we are the “rabbit girl”.  Any meal that requires us to actually touch our food with our hands is messy and poses a serious spillage threat to the new top we just bought from Forever 21.  Finally, our only other option is some sort of pasta dish that requires a fork, but the carbs look up mocking and laughing at us because we know that we’re eating 3 days worth of calories.

So, in order to avoid the stress (and extra calories) here are a few great date ideas for the New Year!  Gentleman, chivalry still exists so here is a tip that will really impress your date!  Chivalry Rule #1:  Always offer to pick up your date!  We have gotten so used to meeting halfway on everything, that it takes away from the specialness of the date.  If she says no, trust me when I say that the fact you offered blew her mind and she is already impressed by you.  Chivalry Rule #2:  Plan the date.  Don’t just pick a restaurant.  Be creative and do something that’s different!  If it’s a first date, go on a picnic and bring a frisbee, find a free concert in the area, try checking out an art show, or attend a professional sports game.  If you don’t think your date will enjoy those options, check out a local museum and find a fun happy hour to go to after!  Dating can be hard but if you’re doing an activity that doesn’t involve stuffing your face and wondering if there’s food in your teeth, it helps to take the pressure off. 

Here’s the bottom line: if you plan a date that is out of the ordinary, it shows that you are extraordinary and extraordinary guys are keepers!

If you don’t like my ideas and are stuck on what do to, there’s this great thing called Google.  It’s pretty awesome!  Happy Dating!

Check Please

I went to lunch at an amazing brewery with some college girlfriends a couple weekends ago and while we were drinking beers and eating fabulous food, we naturally started catching up on our dating lives.  As we were divulging stories of past and present, one of my friends shared a story that sent my jaw to the floor. 

Before I share this with you, I have to start by saying that as fun, exciting, and enjoyable dating can be it is also very expensive.  Now guys, we ladies know that the economic times are tough as of late!  We feel it too!  But, if you have invited a lady out on a date, and by date I mean you are taking her to a nice dinner, not Sonic, the chivalrous thing to do is to pay for the bill.  I am going to let all you single men out there in on a little secret.  Most ladies will purposely carry cash to offer and pay for the tip on a date.  It’s our way of saying “thank you” for inviting us out for a lovely evening.  Here’s how it works:

The Move:  The waiter comes to drop off the check.  The lady will reach for her purse to find her wallet, showing the gentleman that she intends give a monetary contribution toward this event. 

The (Proper) Reaction:  The gentleman notices, and says, “No, no.  I invited you.  Please, let me get this.”  Now, the lady will do one of two things; she will either say thank you, and put her wallet away or she will offer to at least pay for tip.

Gentlemen, if a lady insists that she pay for the tip, do not be afraid to let her.  Dating can be hard enough and in economic times like these, smart ladies know that it’s important to show that we understand the value of a dollar and appreciate being courted.

If you are on a date with a girl and she does not even attempt “the move” or says thank you, I suggest moving on.  Its one thing to enjoy being old-fashioned, but it’s another if you are on a date with someone who’s ungrateful. 

Now it’s time to share the reason I was inspired to write this.  Like most of these stories go, my friend’s friend, we will call her Tara, was invited to go out by a great guy, let’s call him Rick.  During the date conversation flowed and there seemed to be potential for a second date.  When the bill came, so did “the move”.  Rick then proceeded to ask if they could split the bill.  Even though Tara was surprised due to the fact that she tried to be cautious about price when ordering, she is always polite and agreed to his request.  When he went to pay for his portion of the bill, he, without shame, placed a groupon for half off of an entree in the waiter’s bill. 

When I heard this story, I couldn’t contain my disbelief.  Shock turned into gut wrenching laughter and then back into disbelief again.  I understand that eventually down the road, when you are in a committed relationship, groupon’s, coupons, and early bird specials are necessary (again, due to the simple fact that dating is expensive).  But on a first date, whipping out a groupon is not acceptable and says only one thing in a girls mind, cheap.

What have we learned from this lesson everyone?  If you have to consider using a groupon on a first date, be creative and come up with another idea that is more romantic and cost efficient.  The right girl will appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness a gentleman puts into a date more than how much money he is spending.  So go grab a blanket, some two buck chuck, cheese (not Kraft singles), and a sunset.  Boom. You've got romance that costs less than the soup and salad deal at Olive Garden.  Happy dating everyone!

The Spark

Chemistry, fireworks, butterflies, sparks, everyone has a different name for that feeling you get when you meet someone special.  I believe this initial connection is important and essential to the start of a relationship.  But what causes that spark?  I’ve seen plenty of odd couples and wondered why one person was attracted to the other and the only explanation is that it’s unexplainable.

I did some research on this mystery because I wanted to find out two things: one, to find out if it’s legit and two, who it was discovered by.  I was surprised to find that there’s not a lot of information on this topic and most of the information I did find were opinions of very bitter women who blame society on inventing this ridiculous idea.

I finally one article that suggested our body odor that’s created by the genes involved in our immune system, more specially our DNA, is to blame for this phenomenon.  According to Tamara Brown, a Croatian geneticist based in Zurich a section of the DNA called human leukocyte antigen plays a key role in searching for "true love" and the key lies in "secret signals" one picks up from anothers body odor.  I suppose that this isn’t too far fetched seeing as some males excuse their sexual desires and fear of monogamy on their natural animal instincts so why can’t we propose that our smell is “the spark” that’s going to make Ryan Gosling your husband or Megan Fox, your wife?

If it’s really a natural scent that draws in your soul mate, then why hasn’t this cat been let out of the bag?  I would have saved hundreds of dollars on perfume if someone had told me this earlier!  In my opinion, feeling “the spark” is legit but it’s not because someone smells good, although I can think of a few instances where I’ve wandered down the body wash isle and secretly taken a sniff of men’s Old Spice (shameful, I know), it’s just one of those things that can’t be explained.  Kind of like that dizzy feeling I get when I stare at Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling for too long.  Hey, a girl can dream.

Reflecting On The Year

As we head into the New Year full of hope and anticipation to find out if this is “the year”, I’d like to take a moment to share a few of the most memorable dates my friends and I have had.  I hope it brings a smile to your face as well as new ideas for great dates in 2012!

Picture being picked up in a Corvette (I can’t remember if it was yellow or red, none the less, it was totally awesome), a sunset filled with wine, laughs, incredible food, a fireplace, cozy cushions, and a cool breeze from the ocean.  Sounds romantic right?  After a wonderful dinner, imagine a lovely stroll in Laguna Beach with its destination spot being quaint bench overlooking the moonlight rocks of the Montage Resort.  This was by far the best date of the year for me.  I’m not saying that the others I went on I didn’t throughouly enjoy, but I’d have to say this date was hard to beat.

Barbie, obviously not a real name, had the best date of the year at the OC fair.  Who doesn’t love fair food, games, rides that make you puke, and clowns?  Aside from the clowns, I’d have to agree with Barbie!  The good times rolled in during the photo booth session (guys, if you didn’t already know this, girls love to take pictures).  The date got even better when they saw the worlds largest alligator!  Barbie’s worst experience was the dreaded Match.com “you look nothing like your picture” date.  Another unfortunate date was one that ended in a very messy, looking for your tonsils kind of kiss.    

Ken’s most memorable date this year was an enjoyable stroll around Oceanside followed by a second date at a trendy wine bar.  For sake of keeping this PG, I won’t get into why it stopped at two.

Baseball games are always a great date idea!  One lucky lady this year got to enjoy an Angles game in the company of a tall, cute, well mannered man who not only purchased her beverage, but remembered what her favorite one was from their conversation in the car ride over to the stadium. Besides the thrill of getting to stare at men in baseball pants without judgment, this lady also got on the jumbo tron due to a fly ball landing in her lap!  No joke!

Here’s a little tip for all single ladies; don’t unpack your baggage on a first date.  Joe was set up by his friend who informed him that Kari was the “perfect girl”.  With relentless table texting and constant chatter about herself, Joe soon realized that this date would not end well.  One too many martinis sent Kari into an emotional tornado which then led her to unleash the beast known as TMI, too much information.

This year I’d say that my friends and I did a fantastic job of putting ourselves out there.  We enjoyed the good, endured the bad, and faced the ugly.  We tried new things like online dating, kept an open mind when our couple friends set us up, and learned what our deal breakers are.  This New Years Eve, I’d like to remind singletons everywhere that it’s not about who you kiss at midnight; it’s about reflecting on the year, its ups and downs, successes and failures, loves and losses.  So, pop that champagne, crack open that beer, and cheers to the New Year!