It's Not Me, It's You

I’m sure we have all heard the “it’s not you, it’s me”, break up line at one point.  If I made a list of the worst things you can say during a break up, it would definitely be towards the top.  The reason being that everyone knows it really means, “It ISN’T me, it’s YOU, I just don’t want to look like the bad guy (or girl)”.

When a breakup happens, both parties have some idea as to why the relationship ended.  But what happens when you never hear from someone after the first date?  This is my number one pet peeve!  Not only is it a blow to your ego, but you will NEVER know what happened!  It’s like the end of the movie Inception.  All you want to do is stand up and say, “Seriously?!  Come on!”.

I was recently on a date that went amazingly.  It was fun, flowed, and had just the right amount of flirt.  I felt comfortable and was totally myself (of course following my own advice).  If I was on The Bachelor, I would have gotten the final rose right then and there.  Game over.  Ok, I’m exaggerating a little, but I didn’t think the date could have gone any better.  Apparently, I was mistaken.

I don’t know it was because the Lakers lost that night or if it was the expensive bill (which was not my fault) but I still haven’t heard from this guy!  The more I replayed the evening in my mind, the more frustrated I became trying to figure out why I haven’t heard from him!  I’m at the point where I just want to know what happened!  I think that the two bottles of wine he ordered on a first date was probably a red flag, but everything else seemed totally copasetic.  So what gives?

There needs to be an anonymous tip line where singletons could find out why their dates never called them.  Most people know why the lifeline was cut after a bad date, but how do you know where you took a wrong turn if the date went well and all you get is radio silence?  Who fumbled?  You or your date?

Here is the moral of the story.  In instances where a fabulous first date gets you zilch, it’s probably not you, it’s them. 

Sometimes You Need A Little Tough Love

One of my favorite shows came back on VH1 and every time it’s on I am forced to take a look in the mirror and ask myself if I’m at the point where I could actually qualify to be a contestant.  No, it’s not the Bachelor, not yet anyway, it’s Tough Love.  If you haven’t heard of it, I suggest you watch it for two reasons.  One, its pure entertainment and two, you might actually learn something about dating (gasp)!

Basically, the handsome but unyielding love coach, Steve Ward, provides a few fortunate women with relationship advice and dating rules in order to find the happy, healthy relationship they’ve always dreamed about.  The catch is these women are the worst of the worst.  Gentlemen, picture the most horrifying date you’ve ever been on, times that by a million and you’ve got yourself a prime candidate to be on Tough Love.  

Besides the constant shock one experiences while watching each episode, it also forces one to take a minute to re-evaluate what message they are putting out there.  Watching the show, I have learned just how cray-cray girls can be!  I’m not talking about the NORMAL “bad day” tears or that one week of the month where we wish laser beams could shoot out of our eyes.  I’m talking about the gold digging, self absorbed, wedding crazed, obsessive, single ladies that give the rest of us a bad rap.  I feel bad for single guys when I watch this show!  Maybe single ladies everywhere need a good swift kick in the…head to remind us that the good men, who have become a fairytale character in our book, are probably thinking the same thing about us.

Now, these women on Tough Love are probably acting, but bad behavior like that exists in the real world.  Some ladies could probably use a little tough love to serve as a reminder that you can’t expect the best if you aren’t the best version of yourself.  So, as Ice Cube would say it, “check yo self”, and let’s make sure we avoid needing a reality show to set us strait.