Everyone was enjoying the evening until Nameless started talking about something called "Zero Tolerance". I wasn't paying too much attention until he sat down across from me. That's when the circus began.
Right off the bat, Nameless swung and missed. He inquired about how many drinks I had so far and what they were. This is a random question to ask, unless you're my mother. He explained "we" (as in he and his city, Laguna Beach) are having a "Zero Tolerance" weekend. According to him, this meant a person can't have even a single drop of alcohol in their system if driving. He used his extensive math skills to determine my drinks per hour and said that I needed to wait until four am until I was able to drive. This made absolutely no sense since I had three drinks in four hours, on a full stomach, with water in-between. Plus, talking to him was sobering enough. I tried to explain that only if a person is over the legal limit, can they be arrested. He looked at me blankly as if surprised that I was arguing with him. He then proceeded to inform me that I was mistaken and the drinking limit is determined at the city level, not by the state. Now, I don't know the law verbatim, nor do I study politics in my leisure time, but I'm fairly certain he was full of s%&$.
After providing this valuable information, he asked me if I felt invincible, confidant, and able to drive? I didn't feel any of those, I felt attacked, confused and sober. He showed me the article regarding this matter on his phone. As I gazed through it, he happened to mentioned that he lives only a couple blocks away and reminded me that I shouldn't drive until 4am according to his math. I continued reading and noticed the "Zero Tolerance" weekend wasn't actually a weekend at all. In fact, it's scheduled for Saturday, April 6th at 9pm. I reminded him it was Friday not Saturday, but he just looked at me with a death stare and said, "Zero Tolerance". I was talking to a brick wall and decided to give up. Does it end there? Of course not.
Another 15 minutes of insults and awkward conversation left me feeling like it was time to make a run for it. I "went to the restroom" and came back to get my girlfriends. I politely said goodbye and walked out of the bar. One of my married friends still needed to close her tab. She came out laughing and told me that she promised Nameless I wouldn't drive us home and that he wondered why I "escaped like a banshee". The icing on the cake was his serious request of her:
"Do you think you could set up something with you, Chuck, your friend and me"? She explained that she was married and a double date with someone other than her husband probably wouldn't go over well. But again, brick wall. Nameless didn't seem to understand what the problem was. He didn't seem to understand a lot of things. Like what the word banshee means. I don't recall wailing loudly in the bar and if I had, he obviously wouldn't have known it was the warning sign of his impending death.
I'm not sure if there's a lesson to learn here except that from now on, I have a zero tolerance policy. Any guy who insults women, is incapable of listening, and calls them banshees, should be thrown in jail. Ok, maybe that's a little extreme, but hey, I'm a banshee and I have zero tolerance for bull s%&$.
As always, happy dating everyone. :-)
