Enough's, Enough

After multiple attempts dabbling in the in online dating world, (more times than I feel comfortable sharing) I decided to throw in the towel.  My dating life has been on pause for a couple of months now, but the holidays are fast approaching and I’m starting to feel a little, antsy.  To remind myself why I waved my white flag, vigorously I might add, I began to reminisce upon my most “interesting” dates.  Lucky for you all, I’m going to write about them.  Think of it as an early Christmas present from yours truly.

Match – The Hockey Fan

This was one of my first dates on Match (the first time around).  This guy, we’ll call him Ryan, seemed sweet through email.  He was funny, complimentary, well-rounded, and tall.  He recommended dinner and a Ducks game for our first date!  I was pleasantly surprised by his suggestion and thrilled at the fact that we’d be sitting 3^rd row, center ice!  Score! (Pun intended) My only hope was that he looked as good in person as he did in his photos.  My first glimpse of Ryan confused me.  I wasn’t quite sure if it was really him or someone who looked vaguely like him.  Immediately I realized I needed to control my facial expression as he walked toward me.  Crap, I’ve been duped.  He must have used photos from a few years ago, and by a few I mean at least 15, but my mother taught me to never judge a book by its cover.  Besides, I needed to focus on the positives, like center ice, center ice, center ice.  Conversation at dinner was dry at best and I couldn’t wait to get to the game.  Once we got to our seats, I thought I died and went to heaven.  I’ve never been so close to the players!  It was fantastic.  But there was a problem.  Some people are blessed with the gift of multi-tasking.  I am not one of those people.  Being on a first date and trying to watch a sporting event at the same time is hard.  Actually, it’s impossible and on top of impossible, it’s awkward.  I needed clarification after every question or statement.  I was annoyed at myself every time I said what, sorry I can’t hear you, or could you say that again.  We both gave up eventually.  At one point in the game, I noticed he was on his phone and waving to someone or something in the nose bleed section to the left of us.  He informed me his Dad and brother were also at the game.  Great!  A family affair!  It wasn’t a big deal until he mentioned that his dad brought binoculars to try to spot us to see what I looked like.  The rest of the game was just too painful.  I couldn’t enjoy either event.  I don’t even remember who the Ducks were playing or if they won.  Perfect seats, awkward date.

Christian Mingle – The Christian Who’s Not Really Christian

“Christian Mingle, see who God has for you”.  You can’t go wrong with that slogan!  There’s no way you’ll have a bad date with a Christian, unless he’s not.  I assumed there would be false advertising on other dating sites, but I expected more from Christian Mingle.  Paul, was an active, good looking, faith filled man, looking for a good girl, or so I thought.  On our date, he explained that he just got out of a four year relationship and that his brother recently married a girl from Christian Mingle.  As then date went on, I found out that he wasn’t actually a Christian nor was he sold on the idea that God exists, but figured that girls on Christian Mingle would fit his “good girl” expectation.   I went home that night and canceled my membership.

E-Harmony – The Football Player

Carl was the ideal man.  He had his own business, was a comfortable six foot seven, owned his home, and loved his dog.  Perfect!  He looked great in his photos, but from past experience, I knew to lower my expectations just in case.  We met at the Orange County Fair and as soon as I spotted my gentle giant, I was undoubtedly disappointed, again.  The Carl I was looking for was about 75 pounds smaller with full head of hair.  This Carl was not what my lowered expectations had expected.  Again, never judge a book by its cover or its 3XL poop brown polo shirt.  As we walked through the fair, we finally got a chance to get to know each other more.  After being totally awed by the fact that he was 32 and basically retired, I asked more questions on how that was possible.  Finally, he admitted that he used to play professional football for the Chargers.  What?! Yes, the Chargers.  I was impressed and intrigued!  Maybe I didn’t give Carl enough credit.  After the pig races, we went to see the fair animals.  Every male we passed, he felt obligated to whisper in my ear to notice that it was in fact, a male.  Imagine a six foot seven man, giggling, at the visible male organs on the various fair animals.  This date took a turn toward uncomfortable town.  What’s worse was that he seemed to be fixated on this matter.  For the next half an hour, he continued to bring up that particular organ and giggle about it.  My big burly, professional football player had turned into a 5 year old.  I didn’t hear from Carl again. Thankfully.

Recalling these dates remind me that despite the energy put into creating profiles, emailing, and texting, the outcomes seem to share a common theme: disappointment.  I guess it really depends on the person when it comes to dating.  I’m an old fashioned girl attempting to fit into a popular trend.  What I’ve realized is that classy and old fashioned might not be the popular way to date, but in the end, my expectations will be beyond anything I can imagine.  Maybe, even better than Ryan Gosling.

The Catch 22

I’ve heard different pieces of advice since I’ve been single in regards to obtaining a boyfriend.  Family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and even the homeless man by my work (I’m serious); they all have an opinion on how I should go about finding a man.   I’d like to share this advice with you to illustrate the dilemma I’m currently in.

“Julia, you should just stop looking!  It always happens when you’re not looking!”  Of course this advice has some validity to it.  I mean, I know I can’t go running around holding a neon sign with the words, I’M SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE, PLEASE MARRY ME on it.  As much as I would like to, (and really, I would never do that, don’t worry Mom) I’m aware that a man hunt obsession isn’t effective or a solution.

“Julia, you should try, Match.com, EHarmony, Christian Mingle, Catholic Singles, Catholic Match, Plenty of Fish, Christian Match, Perfect Match, Chemistry.com, The Bachelorette (yes the show), (and my personal favorite) Millionaire Matchmaker.  My sisters, brothers, friend’s, cousin, 10 times removed, found their boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, wife, soul-mate there!  It has to work for you!”  Did your head explode too?  Ok, I do know a lot of wonderful couples who’ve met this way and I couldn’t be happier for them!  Honestly, I think dating online or through a service has advantages that older generations didn’t!

"Julia, you should just do something you love and then you'll meet men who share the same interest as you."  Maybe that's true for some activities, but I'm not sure the 55 year old that swims in my lane at practice is available.  Besides, I'm open-minded, but not that open-minded. 

But, back to my problem, does anyone see the dilemma I’m faced with?  If I look too much, then I won’t find anyone.  If I’m not-looking, and by the way, I’m confused as to how that’s accomplished, I’m missing out on a potential boyfriend!  Craziness!  What’s the happy medium or where’s the line between obsession and apathy?  What does that line look like and will my high heel wedges be able to balance on it without falling?

With all the confusion of what I should or shouldn’t do, I answered my own question.  I signed up for Match.com again.  Yeah, that’s right, again.  With that said, I guess that means my neon sign is electronically up.  If anything at least I'll get more material to write about.  Wish me luck!

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone

I went camping with my family a week or so ago and as we were driving back to our campground from a hike, we noticed a man riding a horse.  Behind him, cows were making an uphill climb on the opposite side of the road.  Instead of slowing down, we had to come to a complete stop to make way for a few road rage cows.  With all the cow excitement, I almost missed, what seemed to be a mirage.  It was a boy, actually, a MAN, riding a horse in full cowboy attire, aviator sunglasses, and a sweet smile on his face.  I thought I was in a John Wayne movie!  I almost forgot my parents were in the car and I had to stop myself from drooling before anyone noticed.  He waved, probably at me, and kept those cows in line! 

A modern day cowboy!  What a MAN!  Have you ever seen a western movie?  I’ve seen Tombstone about a thousand times!  I used to imagine myself riding off into the sunset with Wyatt Earp.  We’d ride all the way to the courthouse to change his last name so we could get married and I wouldn’t have to introduce myself as Julia Earp.  No way would my last name be confused with someone belching.  Guys like Wyatt, Doc, and John were and still are the epitome of a real man!  So, where have all the cowboys gone?  Do they live in Texas?  Do I need to move?  Should I start attending rodeos as a part of my weekend routine?  Paula Cole wanted to know where the cowboys went in 1997.  She turned her question into a hit song, reaching millions, and I’m fairly certain she didn’t get an answer.  Paula, if you read this, the only cowboy I know of is herding cows in Kernville, California.

In lieu of seeing a real life cowboy, I decided to research and list the top ten reasons why every girl must date one.  One: they’re hot, duh.  Two: they’re well-mannered.  Three: they line dance.  Four: they ride horses and look good doing it.  Five: they wear flannel shirts. Six: they address you by saying Ma’am.  Seven: they’re usually Republican.  Eight: they want kids, a lot of them.  Nine: they’re quite the handymen when it comes to fixing things. And last but not least, ten: they can rock a helluva mustache.

I’ll leave you with this: if you see a cowboy, email me.  I’ve got some rope in my car to lasso him up.  It’s not creepy, it’s called being prepared.  As always, happy dating everyone!

Age and Expectation

We’ve all heard that age is nothing but a number, but I’m sure whoever came up with that probably was dating someone around the same age as their grandparent or grandchild.  It’s true; age shouldn’t matter if you’ve found the love of your life but with age comes expectations.    

Let me explain what I mean.   My expectation of a thirty-some year old man is reasonable.  He should have a good job (or at least a job), be mature, and hold a conversation.  Unfortunately in recent dates, my expectations have been shot, beaten, and run over by a semi-truck.

I know better than to have ANY expectations on a first date.  But it should be a generally accepted concept that if you date older, you have less to worry about.  Like they won’t have braces, ask you to drive, or wear socks with sandles in public(ew).  There should be a sense of calm knowing you are going on a date with someone who is past their fraternity and beer bonging days.

In short, the moral of the post is this; expectations of any kind, not just age, can set you up for disappointment. Let go of those expectations and be pleasantly surprised.  Keep calm and date on!

It's Not Me, It's You

I’m sure we have all heard the “it’s not you, it’s me”, break up line at one point.  If I made a list of the worst things you can say during a break up, it would definitely be towards the top.  The reason being that everyone knows it really means, “It ISN’T me, it’s YOU, I just don’t want to look like the bad guy (or girl)”.

When a breakup happens, both parties have some idea as to why the relationship ended.  But what happens when you never hear from someone after the first date?  This is my number one pet peeve!  Not only is it a blow to your ego, but you will NEVER know what happened!  It’s like the end of the movie Inception.  All you want to do is stand up and say, “Seriously?!  Come on!”.

I was recently on a date that went amazingly.  It was fun, flowed, and had just the right amount of flirt.  I felt comfortable and was totally myself (of course following my own advice).  If I was on The Bachelor, I would have gotten the final rose right then and there.  Game over.  Ok, I’m exaggerating a little, but I didn’t think the date could have gone any better.  Apparently, I was mistaken.

I don’t know it was because the Lakers lost that night or if it was the expensive bill (which was not my fault) but I still haven’t heard from this guy!  The more I replayed the evening in my mind, the more frustrated I became trying to figure out why I haven’t heard from him!  I’m at the point where I just want to know what happened!  I think that the two bottles of wine he ordered on a first date was probably a red flag, but everything else seemed totally copasetic.  So what gives?

There needs to be an anonymous tip line where singletons could find out why their dates never called them.  Most people know why the lifeline was cut after a bad date, but how do you know where you took a wrong turn if the date went well and all you get is radio silence?  Who fumbled?  You or your date?

Here is the moral of the story.  In instances where a fabulous first date gets you zilch, it’s probably not you, it’s them. 

Sometimes You Need A Little Tough Love

One of my favorite shows came back on VH1 and every time it’s on I am forced to take a look in the mirror and ask myself if I’m at the point where I could actually qualify to be a contestant.  No, it’s not the Bachelor, not yet anyway, it’s Tough Love.  If you haven’t heard of it, I suggest you watch it for two reasons.  One, its pure entertainment and two, you might actually learn something about dating (gasp)!

Basically, the handsome but unyielding love coach, Steve Ward, provides a few fortunate women with relationship advice and dating rules in order to find the happy, healthy relationship they’ve always dreamed about.  The catch is these women are the worst of the worst.  Gentlemen, picture the most horrifying date you’ve ever been on, times that by a million and you’ve got yourself a prime candidate to be on Tough Love.  

Besides the constant shock one experiences while watching each episode, it also forces one to take a minute to re-evaluate what message they are putting out there.  Watching the show, I have learned just how cray-cray girls can be!  I’m not talking about the NORMAL “bad day” tears or that one week of the month where we wish laser beams could shoot out of our eyes.  I’m talking about the gold digging, self absorbed, wedding crazed, obsessive, single ladies that give the rest of us a bad rap.  I feel bad for single guys when I watch this show!  Maybe single ladies everywhere need a good swift kick in the…head to remind us that the good men, who have become a fairytale character in our book, are probably thinking the same thing about us.

Now, these women on Tough Love are probably acting, but bad behavior like that exists in the real world.  Some ladies could probably use a little tough love to serve as a reminder that you can’t expect the best if you aren’t the best version of yourself.  So, as Ice Cube would say it, “check yo self”, and let’s make sure we avoid needing a reality show to set us strait.

Wedding Season

April is known for many things.  The beginning of spring, showers that will bring May flowers, Earth Day, four of my friends birthdays, and the realization that you need to get on a treadmill stat because summer snuck up on you, again. 

Oh, yeah, and for single girls between the ages of 21 and 30, April means wedding season has officially begun. Wedding season is like that guy who always pulled your hair on the playground in 2^nd grade.  You hated him, but for some crazy reason, you loved him too.

Preparing for wedding season is important so I will share some tips that I have learned throughout the years.

Save money.  You will buy many gifts.  You'll probably have to buy at least 2 gifts, sometimes 3, for each wedding.  Save time and money by finding out where each couple is registered and order all the gifts from one store.   You will get free shipping and let's face it, you deserve a little “free”.

Put your best foot forward.  By this I mean, get your butt to the gym.  There will be single guys at these weddings (we hope) so as a single lady, you must always look your best.  Now, sadly, your chances of eligible bachelors dwindle with age.  At 21, you'll probably have a large mix of choices.  At 24, you’ll have a few options. And at 27, well, I’ll let you know after this wedding season.

Hydrate.  There is always THAT guest at the wedding.  Hint: don't be that guest!  Make sure to drink water between each cocktail, beer, shot, and glass of champagne.  Horrible, horrible things happen when people drink too much at weddings.  There’s crying (done that), inappropriate dancing, eating of the wedding cake before it has been cut, stalking the videographer, stealing all the table cameras and taking pictures of yourself (also done that), and diving for the bouquet resulting in one of two ways, either landing in the uncut wedding cake or a somersault that exposes half your bottom (seen both).

Prepare your answers.  You will probably be asked the same question that you ask yourself on a daily basis: How are you single?  I would suggest altering your answers depending on who is asking them.  Never respond by saying, “I don’t know, you tell me.”  It makes people very uncomfortable.  The best way to respond to the most annoying question in the world is, “It seems I just haven’t met the right person yet.”  It’s true and non-threatening.  No one wants to be around a Bitter Betty, so don’t respond like one.

Finally, have fun!  OK, so there might not be cool guys like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn spraying champagne everywhere at the reception, but weddings are awesome!  Remember that you’re there to support the happy couple making a lifetime commitment to each other.  It’s incredible and beautiful!  Take your heels off, boogie down, and do the Cupid Shuffle.  Who knows, maybe next year you’ll be the one tossing the bouquet.  As always, happy dating!

Games: I'm Not Talking About CLUE

Games.  Everyone plays them.  It doesn’t matter if you’re single, in a relationship, or married, the games go on.

There are a couple reasons why I wanted to blog about this topic.  I’ll start with the most apparent one.  The Hunger Games is coming out this weekend!  Yay!  The movie has nothing to do with what I’ll be writing about but I’m really excited for it!  Guys, if your feeling in the dark right now, I suggest you start googling!  Girls everywhere love these books more than Twilight and if you experienced the chaos and obsession of Twilight, this is 10 times worse (or better). 

Now, back to the topic of discussion.  Playing games adds anticipation when dating and it can be used as a tool for flirting.  Just like dating, games have evolved over the years.  Granted, I don’t have a degree on this subject, but it’s successfully worked for me a few times.  Except for the rare instances where the guy was a dud.  On a side note, games are useless if the person you’re dating has a boring personality.  If that’s the case, you should be running for the hills, stat.

If you’re single, play hard to get.  Some say that singletons shouldn’t play this game, but seriously, if we didn’t, everyone would be bored within a week and peace out.  However, there is a point where playing hard to get can get down right aggravating.  If it’s taken to the extreme, you run the risk of being so vague and unavailable that it comes off like you’re not even interested which means you loose and no one likes to be loser.  So be smart.  Find the middle ground.  Follow the general rules like don’t text back right away, don’t be too available, wait 3 days to call after the first date, and always be slightly mysterious.   

If you’re in a relationship, keep it spicy!  New relationships are fun an exciting, but the thrill can sometimes lead to constant texting, calling, and hanging out.  In some cases, that can lead to a relationship system overload.  Yikes!  Of course it’s amazing to spend time with the person who lights your fire, but remember the beginning is the best part!  Play a few lighthearted games and keep it newer longer. 

Married?  Keep playing!  You have the rest of your lives together so what better way to zest it up then to play a little hard to get and re-live the beginning.  Obviously, you’ll have to modify these games at every stage, but I think it adds a healthy dose of pleasure to any relationship.

My final word of advice; be your-self, have fun, and take a date to go see The Hunger Games this weekend!  As always, happy dating everyone!

One Date, Two Dates, Three Dates, Door

A friend of mine recently asked me if I had kicked a guy I was dating to the curb yet.  Laughingly I told her no, but in truth, I was already coming up with a plan to let the guy down easy.  I pondered why I didn’t just tell her immediately that I fully intended to “kick him to the curb”.  Part of me wondered if I wasn’t giving the guy a fair shot.  Then I realized that I shouldn’t be ashamed of this reputation.  Honestly, its probably saved me from inevitable heartache on more than one occasion.  So, instead of pretending that I don’t have a 3 date reputation, I’m going to own it and brand it.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Jose Cuervos Guide to Dating.  One date, two dates, three dates, door.  I'm sure you've all heard of the original rhyme.  One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.  Fun to say, not fun to do.  The goal here is to explain the first three dates and why my theory works.  Disclaimer: this guide is for those who have good instincts regarding people and their character. 

Here’s the breakdown.  Date One:  You’ll both be on your best behavior (or at least try to be).   On this date you’ll know if you’re interested right away.  You’ll talk about basic information that you probably already knew because you stalked his/her facebook page.  At the end of date one, you’ll know if there's going to be date two.  Personally, I’m not a fan of kissing on the first date (unless my date is Ryan Gosling) so on date two, if there's a mutual desire, go for it.  Just remember no one likes to play tonsil hockey.  Date Two:  Both parties dress to impress and conversation consists of recapping information you’ve gathered on date one (or facebook) and expanding on it.  There should be casual flirting and appropriate touching to determine chemistry.  If conversation is easy and attraction exists, you’re on your way to date three.  If conversation is awkward, one sided, and you’d rather kiss a Jabba the Hut than your date, then inform your date that you plan to move to the moon next week and will be out of touch indefinitely.  Date Three:  This is the test to see if everyone has been listening to each other and asking better questions than "how was your day".  If you haven’t seen any red flags yet, you may have a winner.  If you saw more than one red flag by date two, then you shouldn’t be on date three.

Dating is awesome, but if you know someone isn’t for you, don’t stretch it out.  What’s the point?  You don’t need more than three dates to see if you're interested.  Of course you never want to sell someone short or "kick them to the curb" too soon, but don’t prolong mediocre dates in hopes the person across from you magically changes into someone you can connect with.  If it doesn't work out, always be polite about it.  Chances are that if you aren't feeling it, they probably aren't either.  Besides, and I'm sure Jose Cuervo would agree, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Prince Charming

My all time favorite movie growing up was The Little Mermaid. I was fascinated by the ocean and it's adventures! Even at a young age, I understood and loved the romantic fairytale of it all. I would spend summer days at my aunts pool, swimming under water, waiting for my prince to come and fall in love with me and turn me into a human. Disney has molded our idea of what our life should look like. We are told that Prince Charming will ride up on a white horse, sweep us off our feet, and take us to his castle where we would live happily ever after.

The problem is we've been brain washed into looking for the perfect man. But our expectaions don't match up with reality. I used to think that some women are just picky when it comes to dating, but maybe that's not the case. Could it be that because we've been told marry Prince Charming, we spend our life looking for him, forgetting he doesn't really exist? Have we overlooked great guys because the smallest imperfection has tossed him into the undateable category? Even 30 year told Kim Kardashian refers to her life plan as her "fairytale". At the end of her 72 day marriage, she promptly released a statement saying that now she had to re-write her "fairytale". Dating, relationships, and marriage is hard. If we expect life to look like a Disney fairytale, be prepared for a big let down. Instead of looking for Prince Charming, let's look for the guy who makes you laugh until you cry, stands by your side through thick and thin, and treats you with respect. That sounds like the kind of man I'd like to marry.

A Smart Single Girl in Orange County

Hello!  Welcome to my blog!  Growing up in Orange County has been a blessing, but any girl from the ages of 21 to 35, probably has a dating life that is cut throat and similar to that movie 300.  Well, except for all of the good looking men in loin cloths.  Anyway, this blog is not meant to man-bash or complain.  I hope to use it as a tool to reach out to single girls (and maybe guys) to share some thoughts and advice.  I hope that you find it informational, helpful, and entertaining!  So, enjoy reading about the life of a smart single girl in Orange County!

Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Not to Dinner

I was reading a book called The Rules over the weekend and in one of the chapters the author was discussing how men should pick a lady up for a date, plan it, and pay for it.  It seems simple enough.  But dating seems so predictable lately.  Coffee, drinks, dinner or a movie.  Sounds exciting right?  Reflecting on my past dates in the last blog gave me another idea; if dating is supposed to be fun then single people everywhere should put an end to the monotony and get spicy!

Let’s be honest, dinner dates can be pricey and awkward.  It’s stressful for ladies to figure out what to order.  We can’t order a steak because then we look rude.  Even though we want to order a salad in the hopes of fitting into our favorite skinny jeans again sometime in the next decade, we don’t because then we are the “rabbit girl”.  Any meal that requires us to actually touch our food with our hands is messy and poses a serious spillage threat to the new top we just bought from Forever 21.  Finally, our only other option is some sort of pasta dish that requires a fork, but the carbs look up mocking and laughing at us because we know that we’re eating 3 days worth of calories.

So, in order to avoid the stress (and extra calories) here are a few great date ideas for the New Year!  Gentleman, chivalry still exists so here is a tip that will really impress your date!  Chivalry Rule #1:  Always offer to pick up your date!  We have gotten so used to meeting halfway on everything, that it takes away from the specialness of the date.  If she says no, trust me when I say that the fact you offered blew her mind and she is already impressed by you.  Chivalry Rule #2:  Plan the date.  Don’t just pick a restaurant.  Be creative and do something that’s different!  If it’s a first date, go on a picnic and bring a frisbee, find a free concert in the area, try checking out an art show, or attend a professional sports game.  If you don’t think your date will enjoy those options, check out a local museum and find a fun happy hour to go to after!  Dating can be hard but if you’re doing an activity that doesn’t involve stuffing your face and wondering if there’s food in your teeth, it helps to take the pressure off. 

Here’s the bottom line: if you plan a date that is out of the ordinary, it shows that you are extraordinary and extraordinary guys are keepers!

If you don’t like my ideas and are stuck on what do to, there’s this great thing called Google.  It’s pretty awesome!  Happy Dating!

Check Please

I went to lunch at an amazing brewery with some college girlfriends a couple weekends ago and while we were drinking beers and eating fabulous food, we naturally started catching up on our dating lives.  As we were divulging stories of past and present, one of my friends shared a story that sent my jaw to the floor. 

Before I share this with you, I have to start by saying that as fun, exciting, and enjoyable dating can be it is also very expensive.  Now guys, we ladies know that the economic times are tough as of late!  We feel it too!  But, if you have invited a lady out on a date, and by date I mean you are taking her to a nice dinner, not Sonic, the chivalrous thing to do is to pay for the bill.  I am going to let all you single men out there in on a little secret.  Most ladies will purposely carry cash to offer and pay for the tip on a date.  It’s our way of saying “thank you” for inviting us out for a lovely evening.  Here’s how it works:

The Move:  The waiter comes to drop off the check.  The lady will reach for her purse to find her wallet, showing the gentleman that she intends give a monetary contribution toward this event. 

The (Proper) Reaction:  The gentleman notices, and says, “No, no.  I invited you.  Please, let me get this.”  Now, the lady will do one of two things; she will either say thank you, and put her wallet away or she will offer to at least pay for tip.

Gentlemen, if a lady insists that she pay for the tip, do not be afraid to let her.  Dating can be hard enough and in economic times like these, smart ladies know that it’s important to show that we understand the value of a dollar and appreciate being courted.

If you are on a date with a girl and she does not even attempt “the move” or says thank you, I suggest moving on.  Its one thing to enjoy being old-fashioned, but it’s another if you are on a date with someone who’s ungrateful. 

Now it’s time to share the reason I was inspired to write this.  Like most of these stories go, my friend’s friend, we will call her Tara, was invited to go out by a great guy, let’s call him Rick.  During the date conversation flowed and there seemed to be potential for a second date.  When the bill came, so did “the move”.  Rick then proceeded to ask if they could split the bill.  Even though Tara was surprised due to the fact that she tried to be cautious about price when ordering, she is always polite and agreed to his request.  When he went to pay for his portion of the bill, he, without shame, placed a groupon for half off of an entree in the waiter’s bill. 

When I heard this story, I couldn’t contain my disbelief.  Shock turned into gut wrenching laughter and then back into disbelief again.  I understand that eventually down the road, when you are in a committed relationship, groupon’s, coupons, and early bird specials are necessary (again, due to the simple fact that dating is expensive).  But on a first date, whipping out a groupon is not acceptable and says only one thing in a girls mind, cheap.

What have we learned from this lesson everyone?  If you have to consider using a groupon on a first date, be creative and come up with another idea that is more romantic and cost efficient.  The right girl will appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness a gentleman puts into a date more than how much money he is spending.  So go grab a blanket, some two buck chuck, cheese (not Kraft singles), and a sunset.  Boom. You've got romance that costs less than the soup and salad deal at Olive Garden.  Happy dating everyone!