There's an episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte
contemplates purchasing a book to help her with her divorce from Dr. Trey McDougal. She courageously made her way to the Self Help
section at Barnes and Noble. Upon finding the book she’s looking for, she notices another woman, curled up on the ground,
sobbing uncontrollably. With a Self Help book in one hand and tissues in the
other, she tells Charlotte how much that particular book helped her. Charlotte,
looking like a deer in headlights, immediately puts down the book and acts as
though she’s lost. “Travel? Travel?”
If anyone’s ever bought a Self Help book before (and don’t
lie, you know you read He’s Just Not That
into You), I’m sure you can relate to this scenario. I know I have. I started reading one recently. It’s been sitting on my bookshelf for years
doing what most of my books do, collect dust.
Browsing my extensive library of famous literary works such as The 28 Day Detox, How the French Stay Thin, and Twilight,
my eye caught this simple yet powerful title.
Single. I had no intention of
doing a detox, dieting, or re-reading Twilight,
only to feel depressed that vampires aren’t real, so I decided to see what
words of encouragement author, Judy Ford had for me.
A few chapters in and I was surprised by the authors
uplifting words. Sure, it was corny at
some points, but I’m realizing that the truth is corny because it’s simple. To
some, reading a Self Help book is a defining moment of failure. It means you’ve exhausted all other ways of
getting answers without success. In
reality, it’s quite the opposite. It
shows that you’re willing to be open-minded and try something different. This book hasn’t given me answers, but it’s
helped to change my perspective. Part of
growing as an individual is changing or being open to a new perspective. Anything that does that is worth dusting off.
Here’s what I found to be valuable and worth sharing.
“A big part of life is self-discovery and becoming the best
person you can be.” OK duh, but sometimes we need to be reminded about the
basics.
“Being single is the ultimate time for personal and spiritual
development. Take advantage and cherish
your autonomy.” I couldn’t agree
more. It’s much harder to find your
personal direction when you're putting your energy into someone else or a
relationship. Taking the time to really
find yourself is important before you meet Ryan Gosling.
“Love doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else. Love is not a relationship. Love is a state of being; it’s the condition
of our own heart.” I think everyone can
benefit from this statement.
“Quality is better than quantity.” Apply to this to everything, not just dating!
“Single isn’t an identity, it’s a gift.” Rinse and repeat this daily.
“Whether you’re single or in a romance, individuality is a
basic ingredient for happiness.”
“Be darling, be eccentric, be you without apology to anyone.
Be prepared. Be generous with
your time, with your talents, with your loving.
And most of all my friends, be generous with yourself.” I love this!
So, don’t be afraid to self help yourself. There’s no shame in it. Gaining knowledge to
be a better you is something to be proud of. Change your perspective, learn, grow, be open, and live fabulously, no matter what stage in life you’re in.
Just please don't read this Self Help book. Scary. Very scary.
Book: Single: The Art
of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled, and Independent by Judy Ford.
